AKA Charles Fatless
Separated at birth from twin Marcus Kebab (semi-retired member) by Dr Roger Carnage with a Kebab knife. He is the World's most underdeveloped man. His physique does not worry him however, and Adonis usually forms part of our advance party due to his singular ability of being able to arrive by fax.
Phil the Hun, Artist Formally Known As "The Glorious Leader" has musical abilities that continue to stun, amaze and perplex people all over the country. He never lets a good tune get in the way of a pint of beer and the speed of his fingers over his instrument is matched only by the number of bum notes emanating from it.
He's anybody's for a vino tinto!
As his name implies, Dago comes from one of Britain's oldest families and can trace his roots back to the Spanish Inquisition when his family provided Bed & Board to the travelling band of inquisitors.
Dr Roger Carnage
Trained at Paddington station whilst trying to return to the Land of his Fathers. Highly accomplished in the prodigious use of his enormous weapon, his famous achievement is obviously the separation of the Kebab Twins (see above).
Our Youngest Member
After serving his apprenticeship in various sides in the South of England, Ken saw the light and joined the Fezheads.He is ever keen to pass on his experience and knowledge to his younger associates and they are ever keen to completely ignore him.
Not only gobby, but LOUD gobby!
Foghorn Fez possesses the ability to announce our arrival from the neighbouring county! We now have Gobby, Noisy and Foghorn...I think we'd better go and purchase some more amplifiers just to make sure
Possibly our most outspoken member!
Not known for his quiet demeanour, Gobby eschews the ease of plastic surgery and continues in his quest for facial realignment at the end of someone's fist. Any similarity between comments made by Gobby and any person, living or dead, is probably intentional. When not entertaining Gobby is entrusted with the education of the youth of our Nation.
He's a man with a van
In fact a jolly nice van it is too. Our talented drummer was once a renowned grocer, providing fruit and veg for the dining tables of the rich and famous. Why on earth is he in the Fezheads? – you may well ask. Catch Grocer Tony’s ever popular drum solo during the North Kent Folk song.
Having taken a 13 year sabbatical from the Fezheads to alter the World we live in, Jonny has returned to the bosom of his Fezhead buddies. Always keen to enter into debates and discussions about absolutely any topic, some of which he might possibly have some knowledge of.
25 minute prog rock solo?
We decided Adonis Kebab's lead guitar just wasn't loud enough on its own. We now have two, so we are really really LOUD!
If it's too much, Noisy Fez could provide you some stuffing from his upholstery workshop to shove in your ears.
Well he sure as hell scares me!
Scary is probably the most energetic of all the Fezheads and this accounts for his regular dozing to renew his energy.
His body is so finely tuned that he can take his energy dozes at any time, in any place. Over a curry? No problem. On the team bus..definitely...Over his Beer? ... Well, there are limits.
Jim the Scouse is our highly acclaimed skipping choreographer. Basically he’s the only who can remember the steps. You’ll hear him carefully guiding the other Fezheads through the intricate sequences of our performances with that unmistakable scouse twang.
Jim is also the senior member of the Fezhead Skipping Standards Regulatory Board which ensures we never breach (or exceed) any expectations.
Legs like Lemmings!
Shaking Snake Hips was originally spotted across a crowded dance floor proudly sporting his snake skin boots with 24 carat toecaps. The glance was fleeting however, as the bevvy of beauties surrounding him only offered the minutist opportunity to admire his dancing style which was obviously reserved for those closest to him.
Special Guest Star Fez
A belly dance anyone?
In true Forties Screen Idol Fashion, we bring you our own Special Guest Star Fez! To attempt to address the obvious sexual inequality in the Fezheads, Lynne is actually a...female!
All you lovely ladies out there that dream of joining the Fezheads, please do not think this has set a precedent.
He buys, he sells, he sells, he buys
With his penchant for buying and selling of goods, Steptoe Fez is at the forefront of our entrepreneurial spin off company, that is, we sell t-shirts.
You'll see him not only flogging our wares in his cheeky chappy style but he also does a fair impersonation of the famed TV rag and bone man.
The man mountain
The highest Fezhead known to man. Renowned for being able to keep order among the troublesome Fezheads, Tall Paul (whose real name is obviously Steve) dispenses summary justice when things go wrong. It’s not nice we know, but it is necessary, and you have been warned. Why is Tall Paul tied up in this photo? You may well ask, but we won't tell you. You had to be there!
Young Roger Road Manager
We had to call YR young as unfortunatey Carnage is also a Roger. However, it would almost be medically impossible to not be younger than Carnage (apart from Father Ken, but he's being investigated by medical science).
When not lumping stuff about he can often be seen shaking a tambourine or bongo-ing like mad!